Thursday, May 31, 2007

Happy again. I think?


Wow things have changed soo much since the last time I wrote. Reading back all I can think to myself is.. uhh was I kidding myself?! A old friend actually emailed me after not talking for months. At this point I think I was at my lowest and her words hit me hard. "Ive learned that somethings just aren't meant to be and somethings are..." Although I don't know if I'm actually willing to give everything up for good, but for the time being I am going to. I cant believe how much happier Ive been the last 2 weeks. Ive made a new friend and Ive apparently lost one. I'm not sure exactly why I lost that friend, but at this point what matters most to me is being happy. And if that makes me less of a person to you in the process.. to bad. Because making myself a happier and better person is making me more of a person. Its awesome to see a few of my friends pull together and try to make me feel better. A little girl time, a few weekends away, and a couple new friends.. makes alooot of difference. I know I'm not perfect and I do and say things that are probably unforgivable, but I just want those things to be forgivable. I'm only a 19 year old, I don't always think out things logically. I think its called being human!! Anyways.. if your one of the few that are making me feel like a bad person, I'm through with people like you. Theres people that hurt your feelings and then theres people who take things away from you intentionally. Those of you have hurt my feelings in the past I'm over it.. and I hope if Ive hurt yours, you can get over it. But to the one person whose taken something away from me to try and hurt me.. sweetheart you did it, you did exactly as you said. So now your a shitty person. Anyways I just thought I would get that out there. I needed to write!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

No you didn't get a new friend you always had me..it was just taking the time we needed to see what was really important. I know things will work out either way. Just like i told you some things are ment to be and some things arent. Its just hard getting use to that idea..im always here && im sure you finally know that! love youuuu.

Anonymous said...

I heard the other day that not Forgiving is like a poison that YOU drink hoping the OTHER person will die! Im glad to see you happy again!!

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Loni! You have to learn to let go of things that make you so unhappy. If you don't let them go, it will cause you to be a very bitter and mean person. It seems that you are in a rut with "so-called friends" right now, but someday you will understand that your true friends will always be there! You don't have to always agree with each other, but you will always be able to pick up where you left off! I hope that someday you will have a friend like this.
I have a very GREAT friend whom I have been very best friends with since 6th grade! We have had our differences, but thank goodness we were able to overcome all and anytime that I need to call her, she is always available to listen! And the same for her - This is a TRUE FRIEND!
Someday, ya'll will look back and see how silly and mean girls are!
I am so proud of you, Jessalyn, trying to see things in a different way! These friends that are being this way, will go by the wayside and you will make new friends who will be much better friends than the present ones. Everyone grows up and realizes the silly stuff doesn't matter anymore!
You are a good person and I love you very much! Someday you will find the right person, who will love you for the person you are! Don't waste your time trying to make someone like you, it will never work out like you want. You deserve much better than that.
Be happy!!

Anonymous said...

so after reading this i thought back to the phone conversation i had with you earlier. i believe you told me that you would never forgive someone. [[jessalyn, i love you]] i want things to be alright between everyone. after all this forgive and forget talk, im not sure why you wont even consider it. I do understand the hate you have built up for this person... but what is hate going to get you in the long run? ...besides drama and uphill battles.

ill always be here for you. just smile. :D

Jessalyn said...

bfos, i know. but you dont get it. i dont like her. plain and simple. i WONT pretend to like a person.