Falling a step behind.

When your desperatley wanting something, I think that the want part gets in your way. You dont need it, but you want it and your willing to do whatever it takes to get it. I sat myself down last night and thought to myself.. Is what I keep putting myself through ACTUALLY worth it? I mean I keep trying and trying, getting closer and closer and it seems like its all for nothing. Or maybe just for a few days things are perfect. To me that makes it worse.. to get exactly what you want and then have it stepped all over. Only to put myself through it a few days later. Its my fault ultimately, I put myself through it and I dont know why. But to answer my question.. is it worth it? Yes, It means everything to me. This is so new to me, I never had to try before. It always worked out for me, but right now... im falling a step behind. No matter what.

It hurts,but im not done trying.
Dont be worried though, its not dangerous